What's Left?

Sitting here one more night wanting to hit the road to see my kids and grandkids but the shit keeps flying my way. Why is it? Who knows? Maybe it's fate, maybe not? Is it my own fault? All I know it's one of those days again in which I see things in a different light. Yep, I know what it's all about but what I don't know is what's left for me in it? How do I stay young when it seems everything and everyone in life is making me feel old. It used to be when i was young I'd hang around the older crowd because I wanted to be around people that knew more than I did so I could learn from them and even have respect from them. Now that I am older and the respect issue is out of the way it's somewhat the opposite as far as who I hang around with but the funny thing is it makes no difference since you end up taking on many of the traits the people around you have. (There's an old saying about this but I'm' not sure what it is although I know so well the meaning)
I happened to run into a friend of mine today that is maybe 10 years older than myself and I had to not only take a double take on the issue but it set my mind into full gear as to looking for a change to come. My God,this man has worked like a dog for himself his wife and his family and all his life and this is what he gets? He most recently aged 25 years in 6 months and I gotta think I could have been in the same predicament if I wouldn't have slowed up when I did. (not that it was my choice of slowing up the way I did) I did go threw an aging process that surprisingly helps me get my mindset back on track from time to time. When I see a photo of myself a few short years ago I can't help but thank God that I'm alive at the least and fairly healthy for the most part. On the other hand I feel like I'm aging faster every week just the same as I'm sitting in the same spot spinning my wheels and just maintaining. I swear to Christ if I didn't have a family tie here and a place to live I'd be out of here in a heart beat. What's to stay for anyway? The only thing I seem to have going is a few good friends. my family that means the world to me of course, and "The Valley". In thinking more on this I could move to be close to my kids and come back here every six months to see all of the other reasons for me wanting to stay I suppose. I guess it's just one of those days I feel the rut is so deep and getting so thick with crap it's not worth staying the coarse as the road I"m on. Bored with life as well as allot of other things. Maybe it's just that time of the year and maybe not? All I know is I'm ready for change and when it comes I'll embrace it at long as it's not going to make me feel any older. "Get busy Livin or Get busy Dying" is the saying I've been trying to live the last couple years but now I'm seeming to go backwards. Lately it's been "Stay alive and take what everyone feeds you AND LIKE IT. (and stay bored) I guess the ball is in my court and it's my own fault for letting myself be bored and and taking on whatever makes me feel this way so the only right thing to do would be to start the change rolling myself. Yep it's a plan but most the time I fail at following through with these plans and end up getting rolled over time and time again. This time we'll see I guess.